A MOMent

A Moment

Who could believe how you and I retrieved

Both having the deepest of need

Our words washed over us; our souls they would feed

The shortest of moments

Haste, haste rang the bell

You waited – I waited – We joined together

A journey…a walk…half in body; half in Spirit

Wiped away was all fear

As we gently grew near

The shortest of moments

More powerful than the years apart

Survival was not alone, as we spoke of our souls being joined together

And not to forget our heart

Forever it took – to nearly your last breath

Our angel appeared to me at my birth and as my heart was opened

Reminding you and I

We only needed to reach out and take hold of His hand

Solid ground we would land, as we played in the sand

Beautiful, you said

As if you had already met

Our birth…our heart…and now in death

We are now free -- for it was all meant to be

You let me know that you also could see

Our beautiful angel – for you and for me

Thank you for waiting – thank you for hearing – thank you for knowing

For all those years, both feeling so alone

The shortest of moments

Made us feel we were home

Thank you my teacher, my mother, my truth

Let’s run and play as if in our youth

Tears of sorrow have fallen

Tears of joy will soon rise….beyond….beyond…where only love is

It is there that I look to my stars…and blow my last kiss

Samadhi {formerly “Little Edna”}

Michael Jackson, death/life, each soul now ponders...

Having lived so long with fear of death and having finally found a peace {through Conversations with God} and now moved from "an abomination to God" to become "one with God"...I/WE "ARE THE WORLD" are feeling that oneness with Michael Jackson's music. For days, all my heart/soul kept repeating was that he needed his {not final because life reincarnates}..but he needed his resting place from this life to be under that amazing tree where he so vulnerably opened up to Bashir as his "sacred place" where he meditates, creates music, and loves to sit for hours; Martin Bashir mocked him and it felt that Michael just looked straight ahead, feeling exposed after sharing a vulnerability, and in a sense, left his body for a moment. Since that documentary so long ago, I have held that moment sacred and felt in my heart of hearts that Michael should be either buried or cremated and become one with his sacred tree of life; of peace; of safety.

As I quickly tried to twitter Larry King and Anderson Cooper and couldn't figure out how to do it, the Larry King show was held in Neverland and the moment came...Jermaine brought him to Michael's tree!!! Larry also reacted a little disrespectfully but oh...that tree that has stood hundreds of years and held Michael's soul. I truly feel his private family will bring him "home" with a re-cleansing quickly done and nobody has to worry about the peace and calm surrounding his home...it was palpable through the t.v. and I began to weep.

On a personal note, as someone who has struggled a lifetime through religions, even to the point of being kidnapped by family members thinking I was in a cult and being "deprogrammed" by an ex-Moonie with a bad chip on his shoulders...I must have had angels around me because I've made it and only in this moment do I understand the need to share all this.... I have MY OWN sacred tree!! I even brought my friend, Liav, to "my" tree to touch and feel the power of forever and then silently, within my heart-space, I heard this would be her last walk outside...and it was! Phew! I didn't know I was heading this way until my fingers started receiving the message.

My wish/belief for each of us who undoubtedly are thinking of our own destiny/mortality is that we each find our individual sacred tree - in whatever form - that we have a safe place to cocoon within where we can feel the love that is not possible to receive from the world outside but from within each of us and our connection to the Divine.

I send this in honour of my siblings whom I have no contact because of "life"and yet, I love them and miss them... and to my mother who just passed on. I was given about 4-days "notice" that her time left was not long and within those hours, had to understand what to do. For two nights, I was up all night, insanely reading, trying to find how to forgive and release us both. Amazingly, angels brought us together on the telephone and my last words to a mother I never truly tangibly had were, "Have a beautiful and peaceful sleep and feel safe no matter what..I love you mom"...she passed away about 7-hours later -- in her sleep.

My fav MJ video is Black/White, especially his dancing style with First Nations and amazingly, the last brief, brief moment of his life shows him dancing the First Nation's moves -- if only for a moment -- which brought me full circle.

I hope he had/felt angels or someone to say, "Have a beautiful and peaceful sleep and feel safe no matter what...we love you Michael"....

Death, Forgiveness, Mother, Neale Donald Walsch, Heart, Love

After reading Neale's message from his site, I had to write to him and anyone who was drawn to read my blog -- it feels very cathartic.

To my precious Neale et al everyONE. This is the first message I've read this new morning after going to bed hearing that my mother is dying, probably quite soon. I had initally heard two weeks ago and have been thinking, "How can I get ahold of Neale...how can I ask him for ten-minutes of his time?"
And, as I needed his love and ONEness when he came to Victoria, BC for 5-days, so he came again this morning.
You see "et al," I have been "out" of my family for years. In fact, it is Neale's being a vessel of God's love that was the first time ever I came out of fear of life, of death, of being an abomination to God, of hell, of disownment, and on and on.

I'm not promoting but "my story" that I need to lay down is written in my book, Circles in the Sand. Please see www.samadhiwhitehouse.writerswebpages.com if you feel I could help or connect with you or vise-a-versa.

I've realized that I have seen my parents literally a handfull of times in 20-years. I was told by my inner voice to go to their apartment to forgive them and I did--meaning I had no script, no preparation, so no-ONE was ONE-up on the other. That was ten-years ago. My father died two-months later. My mother blamed me for his "love," and here we are... I have to forgive my mother.

The last contact with my mother was when she sent a letter with pictures of two young women; one a bride and the other a bridesmaid... as I read the letter, life went into slow motion. One of those girls was my birthdaughter whom I was forced to surrender. My mother found her without my permission or knowing; in fact, some of my siblings helped her. My mother did not tell me which one was she; and actually met her. Upon meeting her, my birthdaughter asked about me; asked why there were no pictures; and my mother simply replied before moving on, "We don't approve of her lifestyle." And hence, I have turned and left my family, after a lifetime of sorrow--that was too much. In fact, I had already had one heart surgery and here I was after a few years of this news, needing to have a second heart surgery... all before the age of 50!
So, you can see why I have been consuming books like Happier Than God and others...desperately trying to understand how to forgive; how to write, knowing that I cannot talk to my mother.
I too, even though I'm Canadian, felt Tim's family's loss but my sadness came from a father who beamed and radiated love and when I saw him on Larry King, he beamed and radiated love towards his father, his son, and his life. His essence was love.
So, to my friend "in the space of the room in Victoria" and forever, I thank you Neale for reminding me and giving me a little push towards writing that letter that I must also live my day in the NOW and get past the hurts of the human experience and step into the love of the spiritual experience. I am a co-creator of life and so, I believe somehow that your words will further penetrate my heart and soul and give me a free-falling of love as I just begin..just stop thinking and create movement with pen and paper and FOR-god's sake-GIVE my mother, my family, and my own journey.
I know what it feels like to be aware of the ticking of ONE's heartbeat but together, we can calm our hearts, be still, and love NOW in the safety of love. YOU have taught me that when my heart gets the better of me {palpitations, fear...} -- it is through you that I have learned to speak quietly to my own self and say, "I AM safe no matter what happens in this moment...I AM safe and not alone." Thank you Neale. Thank you and may your heart beat to the rhythym of love and life for as long as your journey has chosen to be here, teaching, training, guiding US. I love you Mr. Walsch!

May you be WELL/ FREE from suffering / HAPPY {Buddha}
YOU must be the change you wish to see in the world {Ghandi}
Samadhi, author/workshops & Facilitator, The Passion Test
www.samadhiwhitehouse.writerswebpages.com / http://circlesinthesandbysamadhiwhitehouse.blogspot.com/

Allelulia!! Babies are Now SAVED at last!!!

If you can enlarge it, you can undoubtedly read the great news in any paper or on-line or through the Vatican's Theological Commission or on The Catholic News Service website!!
No offence intended; it's just my journey and the outrageously insanity of what we, as humans with brains, have allowed ourselves to fall into...

I would love to ponder with the “peeps” of the world how the human-made-decision to make the Pope Catholic...no, I'm sorry--to make the Pope INFALLIBLE has given HIM the ability to decide to suddenly save babies who were once {and that's a REALLY LONG "ONCE" doomed... but now because the Pope is without sin--he has the power to tell millions and millions of Catholics that unbaptized babies will no longer be doomed--but suddenly SAVED!!

With this infallibility, ability to change--at presumably God's will--any law whatsoever, I would love the Vatican to help God/Pope to keep us waiting no longer... and get to the presses with HIS writings of his own Conversations With God--with or without having to meet with the Vatican studies group!! What sayeth God to the only human who is without sin in our current age?

I was born Catholic, raised Catholic, and it took me into my fourth decade to get OUT in more ways than one... OUT of the closet; OUT of religion; OUT of how this tiny little planet brings GOD into our little tiny space..

Doesn't anybody want to trip out of our galaxy, into the other cosmos, and have a God-eye view on whuz-up?? God = LOVE so why is the planet so out of love with each other? IF only we could step out of our skin, out of our mind, and into SPIRIT. I have finally found peace within Spirit, leaving religion--all of them--behind. If we each thought about it… I wonder??

I've reacted to this insane article and decision because {sadly-- it's a story that touches home in my book Circles in the Sand -- about when my sister's baby was dying and against her wishes, my mother snuck in a Catholic priest to perform the Last Rights so the sweet, precious 10-day-old darling soul of Mick wouldn't forever be plunged DOWN {although when we're in the cosmos -- there is no Up and no Down and No East and No West... groovy & cool}... to LIMBO for eternity!

Settle down on prayers to God for the next while because THEY have a "hole" lot of backlogged babies at those gates, waiting to finally get a cuddle from Mother God....

Peeps of the World--Come join in an incredible journey with bestselling author who had a movie made about him {don't WE wish} &is part of The Secret

: Now I know why surgery has been on my mind

Wow, have you ever seen a subject line on an email and just know that you don't want to open it? That you hope it's a joke? This is the second one in my life...

My web "master" as he loves to be called -- but I more often call him "my-brotha-from-anotha-motha" because he's wonderful, a mentor, a teacher, a former internationally bestselling author, has movie rights {bidding} to one of his books, loves his partner Diane, has babies with four legs and long tails -- horses.

On Diane's birthday a few months back, he went for "the money shot," jumped over a fence and seriously injured himself. He had to have surgery last Friday and he and I spent the week sharing emails about preparing for surgery, reminding him about enjoying every moment of life... because nowa'days, you do not sleep in hospital the night before surgery--you walk in off the street, put a gown on, and walk to the O.R.

I think I may have been the only outside friend who shared and listened to him share--he said he really appreciated it and felt totally peaceful. He and Diane went out for a delicious dinner the night before, as did Lorraine and I the night before my surgery... I told him I was proud of him because he was able to enjoy that night and the beauty of a moment in time, rather than being in a hospital bed, alone and getting scareder and scareder.

I called him mon'bro and he called me little'sis... I know I was "high maintenance" because I wanted a beautiful web site and was always asking for something.

I emailed him late last night, thinking a week was long enough not to bug them and I asked how he enjoyed the anaesthesia, tripping off in the cosmos, and had he come back into his body yet... his partner Diane told me he passed away. He had surgery and in the evening, had a cardiac arrest; they never got to him quick enough... he was on life supports until Sunday or Monday and then that was it... he tripped right out of the cosmos into the "back of beyond." I feel like I've lost my brother, my friend, my guy who knew the business, my fan, my support.... today has been so sad. Lorraine {my partner} and I went to the ocean and walked around all day, needing to be close to MotherEarth. Lorraine helped me--reminded me--to change "death" to "passage through to the next journey."

Amazing how we are often preparing for something but don't know it's coming. He didn't see this coming and neither did I or Diane... only his spirit knew. I guess this was a fulfillment of Morey's destination for this trip, and he will move onward and upward. Phew again... I am so sad--he was into physics and he would always say, "quantum physics," but I would say, "spiritual energy." Now he knows and I think I heard him and felt his presence today as I stood on a bluff... I think I felt him say "Hey..."

I don't know how to replace my guy and a whole new web site and relationship with someone; everyone knows that site is where to go but Diane can't sustain it. She said she wanted to mail me the money for the year's membership and that Morey would want me to have it but I decided to ask her to give it to a charity he would love... I don't want it. I want my biggest fan--I cannot imagine Diane's grief but all I can do is send her love and spirit wings to hold her and cocoon her while she gets through this.

So.... I guess that is why so much "dying, illness, death" has been in my head and my heart.

Everybody -- take a moment to really feel this moment. Love life. Life strong and with happiness. The oddest thing is that "death" is the most visible commonality between every living thing and person, and yet, we just don't get it that it could happen tomorrow... until it does.

I'm changing with each tick of the second hand and every beat of my heart--I am bringing myself closer and closer into that cocoon where I am safe, even if I don't get the full mysteries of life....

Namaste -- go hug someone today!! Go on now...I'm gonna!!