Michael Jackson, death/life, each soul now ponders...

Having lived so long with fear of death and having finally found a peace {through Conversations with God} and now moved from "an abomination to God" to become "one with God"...I/WE "ARE THE WORLD" are feeling that oneness with Michael Jackson's music. For days, all my heart/soul kept repeating was that he needed his {not final because life reincarnates}..but he needed his resting place from this life to be under that amazing tree where he so vulnerably opened up to Bashir as his "sacred place" where he meditates, creates music, and loves to sit for hours; Martin Bashir mocked him and it felt that Michael just looked straight ahead, feeling exposed after sharing a vulnerability, and in a sense, left his body for a moment. Since that documentary so long ago, I have held that moment sacred and felt in my heart of hearts that Michael should be either buried or cremated and become one with his sacred tree of life; of peace; of safety.

As I quickly tried to twitter Larry King and Anderson Cooper and couldn't figure out how to do it, the Larry King show was held in Neverland and the moment came...Jermaine brought him to Michael's tree!!! Larry also reacted a little disrespectfully but oh...that tree that has stood hundreds of years and held Michael's soul. I truly feel his private family will bring him "home" with a re-cleansing quickly done and nobody has to worry about the peace and calm surrounding his home...it was palpable through the t.v. and I began to weep.

On a personal note, as someone who has struggled a lifetime through religions, even to the point of being kidnapped by family members thinking I was in a cult and being "deprogrammed" by an ex-Moonie with a bad chip on his shoulders...I must have had angels around me because I've made it and only in this moment do I understand the need to share all this.... I have MY OWN sacred tree!! I even brought my friend, Liav, to "my" tree to touch and feel the power of forever and then silently, within my heart-space, I heard this would be her last walk outside...and it was! Phew! I didn't know I was heading this way until my fingers started receiving the message.

My wish/belief for each of us who undoubtedly are thinking of our own destiny/mortality is that we each find our individual sacred tree - in whatever form - that we have a safe place to cocoon within where we can feel the love that is not possible to receive from the world outside but from within each of us and our connection to the Divine.

I send this in honour of my siblings whom I have no contact because of "life"and yet, I love them and miss them... and to my mother who just passed on. I was given about 4-days "notice" that her time left was not long and within those hours, had to understand what to do. For two nights, I was up all night, insanely reading, trying to find how to forgive and release us both. Amazingly, angels brought us together on the telephone and my last words to a mother I never truly tangibly had were, "Have a beautiful and peaceful sleep and feel safe no matter what..I love you mom"...she passed away about 7-hours later -- in her sleep.

My fav MJ video is Black/White, especially his dancing style with First Nations and amazingly, the last brief, brief moment of his life shows him dancing the First Nation's moves -- if only for a moment -- which brought me full circle.

I hope he had/felt angels or someone to say, "Have a beautiful and peaceful sleep and feel safe no matter what...we love you Michael"....

: Now I know why surgery has been on my mind

Wow, have you ever seen a subject line on an email and just know that you don't want to open it? That you hope it's a joke? This is the second one in my life...

My web "master" as he loves to be called -- but I more often call him "my-brotha-from-anotha-motha" because he's wonderful, a mentor, a teacher, a former internationally bestselling author, has movie rights {bidding} to one of his books, loves his partner Diane, has babies with four legs and long tails -- horses.

On Diane's birthday a few months back, he went for "the money shot," jumped over a fence and seriously injured himself. He had to have surgery last Friday and he and I spent the week sharing emails about preparing for surgery, reminding him about enjoying every moment of life... because nowa'days, you do not sleep in hospital the night before surgery--you walk in off the street, put a gown on, and walk to the O.R.

I think I may have been the only outside friend who shared and listened to him share--he said he really appreciated it and felt totally peaceful. He and Diane went out for a delicious dinner the night before, as did Lorraine and I the night before my surgery... I told him I was proud of him because he was able to enjoy that night and the beauty of a moment in time, rather than being in a hospital bed, alone and getting scareder and scareder.

I called him mon'bro and he called me little'sis... I know I was "high maintenance" because I wanted a beautiful web site and was always asking for something.

I emailed him late last night, thinking a week was long enough not to bug them and I asked how he enjoyed the anaesthesia, tripping off in the cosmos, and had he come back into his body yet... his partner Diane told me he passed away. He had surgery and in the evening, had a cardiac arrest; they never got to him quick enough... he was on life supports until Sunday or Monday and then that was it... he tripped right out of the cosmos into the "back of beyond." I feel like I've lost my brother, my friend, my guy who knew the business, my fan, my support.... today has been so sad. Lorraine {my partner} and I went to the ocean and walked around all day, needing to be close to MotherEarth. Lorraine helped me--reminded me--to change "death" to "passage through to the next journey."

Amazing how we are often preparing for something but don't know it's coming. He didn't see this coming and neither did I or Diane... only his spirit knew. I guess this was a fulfillment of Morey's destination for this trip, and he will move onward and upward. Phew again... I am so sad--he was into physics and he would always say, "quantum physics," but I would say, "spiritual energy." Now he knows and I think I heard him and felt his presence today as I stood on a bluff... I think I felt him say "Hey..."

I don't know how to replace my guy and a whole new web site and relationship with someone; everyone knows that site is where to go but Diane can't sustain it. She said she wanted to mail me the money for the year's membership and that Morey would want me to have it but I decided to ask her to give it to a charity he would love... I don't want it. I want my biggest fan--I cannot imagine Diane's grief but all I can do is send her love and spirit wings to hold her and cocoon her while she gets through this.

So.... I guess that is why so much "dying, illness, death" has been in my head and my heart.

Everybody -- take a moment to really feel this moment. Love life. Life strong and with happiness. The oddest thing is that "death" is the most visible commonality between every living thing and person, and yet, we just don't get it that it could happen tomorrow... until it does.

I'm changing with each tick of the second hand and every beat of my heart--I am bringing myself closer and closer into that cocoon where I am safe, even if I don't get the full mysteries of life....

Namaste -- go hug someone today!! Go on now...I'm gonna!!