GRIEF / MIRRORS - Stage Two & On & On we go....

I have previously written about Grief/Mirrors and how we truly see each other within the mirror's reflection...through the eyes of another do we see ourselves.

In reflecting, after a heavy disagreement and misunderstanding and not being heard...I wrote a poem that I thought I would share. I hope it makes sense to someone out there who is angry with another...

OUTSIDE OF WITHIN


What part of me left the ALL to wander outside of my higher self?

What part of me left the cocoon of ALL
To allow arrows to pierce the heart…
Words to disintegrate like acid rain over my being

I see me…
What should be ALL of me has become fragmented now that I have wandered outside

Awe - to witness that which I had chosen not to be
I have forgotten for but a moment that has turned into a lifetime

I see me…

Little one?
Innocent babe already lying away from the womb
So soon feeling alone in that room

I see me…

I see me through you -- and your world
The world around me is within me…my mirror

You -- you who cause me hurt!
What power you have to stir such sorrow within my core

You -- who has rejected me!
What emptiness I feel with barely a word

You -- who spews insults at me!
What part of me allows myself to feel them as if I have spoken them and made them my truth?

I see ALL of me outside of the ALL

Oooh, the hurt, the anger, the sorrow, the abandon
Are you ALL of what is not?
Are you ALL that I must be before I re-member

I must go inside now
Within
I must stake claim to what I perceive as the world without causing hurt
It is I -- I echo a voice through my puppet
My puppet speaks insult but in truth, it is I

I have wandered away…

How do I return?

I see. I see. To re-turn is to make a YOU-turn back within
But first, I know
Still -- I know somewhere within -- that I cannot take with me what I have allowed to cause pain
For pain does not exist within

Aaaahh, I see
I see ALL of me as each wound stares into my soul

Come here my wounds -- come and I will heal you
For I have found a new me
The opposite of what you have caused me to feel

If not for you, I would never have found higher ground
For I would not have climbed such a steep hill

If not for you, I could not forgive
Forgive -- to free me
So that I could truly live

I forgive you with thankfulness
Thank you hurt, sorrow, anger
Thank you for showing me ALL that I am not

What part of me left the ALL to wander outside of my higher self?

Blessed ALL, for you have become I AM
I AM cleansed through the sweat of my sorrow -- through the sweat of climbing that hill

And now I see
I see with amazing clarity

I AM no longer those parts of me that are wounded
For they are disintegrated within the light

What part of me left the ALL to wander outside of my higher self?

With thankfulness, I leave the world’s reflections of my old self behind
I have climbed the steep hill because I have re-membered
I AM part of ALL THAT IS LOVE
I AM…

L O V E

Amazing personal experience while doing "Fire The Grid" for World-Peace meditation

I wanted to share where my soul seemed to take flight while doing the "Fire The Grid" for World Peace meditation -- I hope it inspires at least one person to walk through the fires of sorrow on our planet via their thoughts and prayers -- and to bring one soul from the burning refuge created through the oppostive of LOVE....

Here's my experience through the fire of the grid meditation:

It is my intention to heal my soul, to BE within love in each moment and to partake to heal our earth and love Her children.
I give permission to my soul to participate 100% at 11:11GMT with gratitude and thankfulness to be within the energy to rebuild my foundation and the foundation of the world; to feed my soul constantly and to feed the children of the world at the same moment.
I am firing the grid; I partake within the energy shift of this moment
I am grateful to find and know and feel and connect with my absolute joy within this spiritual hour.
My intention is for my body to awaken me in time to partake;
The greatest abundance of energy within this hour is one of love, of abundance for all, of love, of belief. The abundance of personal energy is to raise my own energy field to my higher spiritual level.
I am special
I am empowered
I am enlightened
I am a peace of divine source
I am a participant within firing the collective energy into WE
I walk into joy
I choose to feel the shift and have enormous gratitude for this honourable gift
I accept each human/each soul exactly as they are in this moment

I felt the layers--from my physical being to deep into the cosmos of my guides and angels and the planets guides and angels--and then deeper into infinity where the level of angelic realm exists that is not within this world.
My joy of life, of trees, of times with dolphins, snorkelling in coral, seeing this planet as mostly water and seeing that the seas need to be healed to allow life force to flow within her natural, undisturbed rhythms.
I remembered all of my moments in nature, quiet by the sea, snorkelling, feeling and sensing the beauty of this planet and of spirit.
I felt my angels and a spiritual realm around the space of myself and my eye’s view to the trees and sky and also to the pictures around my personal space of angels, fairies, nature, sunsets…and then deep into the centre of earth… as I became love and peace, I understood how my BEing affects this planet and all around me. It is a beautiful awakening to see how a choice-change can alter energy and consciousness of others. I saw why I must choose consciously to raise my own energy field to my higher spiritual level.

I saw all children playing, laughing, schools, eating, babies gurgling in their mother’s arms--rather than trying to catch their last breath on this planet--this image of a baby gurgling and cooing next to a baby starving and dying caused a rush of spirit through me…really showing me, allowing me to feel what is in this moment and what we can and will change. My visions fell to Africa and India and Thailand but mainly the first two as far as visions of children and mothers living in joy, rather than fear. Guerrilla soldiers put down their machine guns and came home to eat with families and to laugh; their need for war and power through violence left as they laid down their weapons.
I saw men and women, and the disconnect between these two powers. I saw men with the intention to rape women but in that moment of intent, their hearts changed. Rather than grabbing a woman to attack her, their arms outstretched to touch a woman’s shoulders, as if to create an excuse that the woman dropped something and to pass it to them…allowing for a light to come between them, eliminating fear in that moment.
I saw myself with men in prison, teaching them, asking them to look into a light at the front, urging within my thoughts for each of them to allow feelings and compassion to enter their beings as they knew not emotions of others. I saw myself with women and children, helping, teaching, laughing. I saw myself in women’s shelters and again realized the fragment of the two humanities of this earth.
I began to feel my self leave my body in a partial sense and float up to the cosmos--gathering the energies and sending them down to the earth. I felt like I was gently floating to gather the beauty of infinity and also to look at earth from a galactic view--to see the light; the change that has happened and then as my legs elongated back down to earth, the rest of my spiritual/angelic and physical body came back to my self.
Towards the end, my thoughts seemed to completely stop and a white light entered into my thought space. A thought came through but it felt distant--amazed at how easily this light took the space of my thoughts and then I understood to be still and let this white light download into my core the essence of my being and my spiritual role within this life. I felt the download happen and laid still, safe and peaceful, as light filled me.

As I opened my eyes, I still felt the spiritual presence and I knew I was home, where I am in this moment in our time and space. I heard the rain and saw the trees and sky and our beautiful pictures of angels around me and I knew I had returned from the most magnificent journey.
I now enter into an agreement to BE and give to this planet and its people--a love, a joy, and a belief in peace. And so it is.

{PEACE}

Below is from one of my dearest friends, who is truly a spiritual guru and “gets me”
It happens regularly that reliving biological birth tends to open up access in the collective unconscious to images and experiences of unimaginable violence, cruelty, and bloodshed. People experience atrocities committed throughout the centuries-episodes from wars, revolutions, the torture chambers of the Inquisition, and concentration camps.
When the process of self-exploration reaches this level, the experience becomes transpersonal. The history of the individual merges with the history of the species. People who began this process as personal therapy often feel at this point that they are actually healing not just themselves, but also the field of species-consciousness. It is as if the collective unconscious contained impurities, undigested stuff from previous ages, and as if bringing it fully into individual consciousness for processing actually represented collective cleansing and healing.
The depth and intensity of these experiences is far beyond the framework of what one can regard as personal, and individual people feel that they have become one' wlth suffering humanity.

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Religion/Spirituality : Love/Hate : Understand/MISSunderstand : You+Me+"Them"=ONE {Imagine!}

Picture taken from Mount of Olives, looking through Christianity's cross and down into the Wailing Wall of Judeaiesm and the Golden Mosque--ALL from human history of the "one God"...


THIS HAS BEEN TAKEN FROM MARK JOYNER’S BLOG & TRANSFERRED WITH MY RESPONSE BELOW:
http://www.markjoyner.name/logs/archives/news/a_letter_from_an_anonymous_iranian_to_the_american_people.php#comments

May 08, 2007
A Letter from an Anonymous Iranian to the American People
The author of this letter is a friend of mine who just so happens to be an Iranian citizen.
In order to protect his identity, I can only reveal that he is a university student living in the city of Tehran.
During our conversations it became clear that those of us in the west tend to have some common deep misconceptions about the Iranian people and what life is like in Iran.
I am sure that bits of this letter will be singled out and used for the political purposes of those on the left and the right alike.
His motivation for writing this letter, and mine for printing it, is not political - but human.
The facts he states in this letter, though many of which will likely run contrary to our preconceived notions, can very easily be verified if you care to take the time to do so.
I've already said too much-as his letter stands quite well on it's own-in it's unedited glory ...
Mark Joyner


A Letter from an Anonymous Iranian to the People of America

OK, I first wanted to deliver this message to you in form of a video containing interviews with people here, but after receiving some warnings from from family and friends about the risks of it here, I decided to share this message for you in form of a letter.But just know that there's actually a human being - just like you - behind this letter, typing every word for you... You know how much focus there is on the news about Iran these days. When you turn on the TV and read the paper, you hear about it.You see the media tries to create an image in your mind about Iran and Iranians.But have you ever wondered how real it is? Have you ever wished you could see behind the scenes and see the truth for yourself?Well, here's a chance...After talking with Mark about how many big misconceptions have been created by the media, I decided to clear up some of them for you in this letter. Hope you enjoy reading them and seeing the truth...Do Iranians hate Americans and the people in the West?No, not at all. Just ask someone who has come here as a tourist and he will tell you Iranians are very friendly and hospitable with people from other countries.It's true that the media here tries to make people think the West is the enemy because that's how they get power. But most Iranians don't have any problem with other nations and actually like them.Yes, there are some radical groups (like "Basij") who think the west is the enemy but they are the minority. Actually this minority group is even hated among most people here because they interfere with our own people - like attacking and arresting women if they're not wearing the kind of covered clothed they think is correct, among other things.But the big majority of people here like other nations and want to live in peace and harmony with the rest of the world. So do Iranian people want to enter a war with the US?What do YOU think? Do people ever like to enter a war at all? Hasn't it been always kings and governments provoke and force people to this?The Iran's government may not mind a war, but the people certainly don't want it.Because people are always people. They have families who they care about and don't want to risk losing in a war. Also they understand the other country's people have families too. You know, war never has solved any problems. It only creates more problems.What about the Iran president? Do Iranians agree with him and his politics?Some do, but the majority don't. So it's important to know he certainly doesn't speak for all Iranians. So when he says something about Holocaust, writes a letter to the US president, or makes a speech in United Nations, he is NOT speaking for us either.But doesn't the President of Iran want to nuke Israel and "wipe them off the map"? I have heard the exact statement Ahmadinejad said in Farsi so I know what he really meant. He meant the Israel government should give its place to Palestine - like it used to be before.He thinks there should be no country called "Israel' on the map, and instead it should be called "Palestine". So what about the Jews living there? Well, they can certainly keep living there in peace because neither the government of Iran nor our people have any problem with Jews. Actually, did you know there are many Jews and Christians living here in Iran in peace?So what about terrorists? Don't Iranians agree with and support groups like Al Qaida?I was really shocked when Mark told me some Americans think Iranians support Al Qaida and other similar groups. Because Al Qaida and Taliban were one of the most hated groups among Iranians - even years before the September 11 tragedy, because of what Taliban were doing to Afghan people.If you go to the streets here and ask hundreds of people if they agree with those groups, I guarantee you'll receive some shocked faces looking at you wondering what strange question is that?Are Iranians all Muslim?Even though most people here are Muslim, but there are also many Christians, Jews, Atheists, and others living here in peace. And just like other Iranians, they too like Iran's culture and are proud of their history, but don't agree with the regime.So how is life in Iran really like?If you come to Iran today and walk in the streets, what you will see may surprise you...You will see parents and their children walking happily together...You'll see children playing soccer in the corner of an alley...You'll see young boys driving a sports car fast and playing western POP music in the car...You'll see couples walking hand in hand and talking...You'll see normal stores, shopping malls, restaurants, and people living their ordinary life.You see, people are people - no matter if they are in New York, Paris, Tokyo, or Tehran.So how come the picture the media shows is so different?(I know because I sometimes watch CNN and BBC through satellite TV and check out their websites on the Internet.)You know, it's an art of the media to take a tiny part of the whole picture and make it look as if it IS the whole picture.Just like there are Ku Klux Klan in America. It would be easy to use images of the KKK and paint the picture: "See, this is America."They do it over there to show a cloaked picture of Iranians, and they do it here to show a cloaked image of Americans.But today the Internet gives us the opportunity to discover the truth for ourselves - if we are open to do it.So to you that are reading this letter, whether you live in the US or any other part of the world, warm regards from the people in Iran.[Your peace-lover friend from Tehran, Iran]

Samadhi’s response of May 22nd 2007:
My response--from a very personal and Western insider as far as the Middle East. Although I have not been to Iran or Iraq, I have lived, worked, and travelled in Syria, Lebanon, Jordan, Saudi, Oman, Israel, Palestine, Egypt, the United Arab Emirates…

I have been searching the web, looking for people within the Middle East, so that I can spread my wings again and make a connection. If any of this message sounds self-serving--I can only ask you to trust that in my heart of hearts, I am sincerely wanting to reach out to those oppressed within the Middle East primarily--and women of the world.

Having lived, worked, and traveled through much of the Middle East, I realized I was always "escaping" to the desert because of my own oppressions. I did not have an outer veil or burka, but I certainly had an internal veil, suffocating my soul, my voice, my right to be seen and heard as a woman.

I wrote my first book, Circles in the Sand, which I thought was my personal journey but have quickly discovered how it resonates with many, many women--and even men--who understand oppression, abuse, war, hatred, discrimination... It is a communal journey from darkness into light.

I now see the Middle East as a metaphor for my life's journey. That Circles in the Sand has touched the lives of those who have read it motivates me to keep believing that if I can touch one, I can touch one million.

Some experiences I have personal understanding of {and which are noted in my Theme Chart on my web site} are:
Family dysfunction {which branches out to Arab/Jewish “family” dysfunction}, homosexuality in both the East and the West, religion versus spirituality, women's oppression, a nation's oppression, war {having been in Lebanon in the 1982 Israeli invasion}, death, fear, illness and the connection to my biography, forgiveness, and death.

Although I read the Iranian gentleman's phrase put very gently, almost unnoticed {in his above-letter}-- “the Israel government should give its place to Palestine - like it used to be before. The Iranian President Ahmadinejad has stated that there should be no country called "Israel' on the map, and instead it should be called "Palestine".--this is the root that must be pulled out and replanted. Anything built on this foundation will crumble.
Their truth--and that of every Arab country--has been said in various tones but the message is so, so clear--to simply remove "Israel" and rename the land "Palestine"... this is THE MOST IMPORTANT statement to understand. It is the truth of every Muslim country--Israel is not allowed to exist. It is the root of the Arab/Israeli conflict, no matter how softly spoken. I have lived and worked with Arabs who are Muslim, Christian, Druze, Shi’hite, Sunni… the feeling is the same with all, and there truly is no denying it. They have told us repeatedly, but we just don’t want to listen--and that includes Saudi, who the U.S. is extremely friendly with--how odd?!

Having been drawn to the Arab world over and over, including Palestine, I have personally felt their oppression and have heard hundreds of voices in unison over the decades declare that Israel does not have the right to exist. The fact that the U.S. supports Israel is interweaving politics with our Judeo/Christian history and yet, the U.S. has managed to do business deals with Saudi... ignoring the terrorism acts of Saudis on those planes; ignoring that women are executed regularly; ignoring that there are executions each and every week... it's all such a crazy mess and only we--one by one--can begin to collectively change our world.

Although my book has the underlying running storyline of my personal traumas, there is much said regarding life in the Middle East and religions that we somehow manage to pretend we all share the same God--Christian/Islam/Judaism--and yet, that "same God" has the three of us fighting. Something has to give "peeps" of the world.

I personally will send my book to any individual or book club, especially women around the world, if they would like an inside look at both of our veils of oppression.

Not yet having funds in my bank, should you have the finances, I would be honoured if you purchased my book but...I will send a copy to those I can.

I know in my deepest place of spirit, that there are healing words and tools on how we can step out of our egos and personality disagreements and step into the light of LOVE--a new spirituality--just pure LOVE.

As I often think, "Imagine all the people...living life in peace" -- it's not beyond our reach!

"Thank you" to this Iranian man for speaking your truth.

I know, having been in a war zone and having been in Israel with bombs going off every other day seemingly, that the truth of life within that environment is very, very different from what the news shows us. I truly get it and feel and understand you... may Allah/Yahweh {you are brothers}, Jesus, Buddha, Krishna, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, Mary Magdalene {if we dare believe}, and the multitude of Masters who have only asked of us one thing... to be LOVE...may their LOVE and LIGHT be shone through each of our hearts.

Grief / Mirrors -- Stage Two {you gotta read first blog with this title

As I have settled into the next stage of “grief/mirroring” in a relationship-sense, I’m slightly numbed by the array of energy that came from me--when I look back at an internal or external anger/extreme sorrow/hurt, you--I--see just what the toll is on my body, mind, and spirit and it ain’t pretty. In fact, my body is continually reminding me that I can no longer “contain” these emotions. You would think after two heart surgeries {physical/metaphysical again}, that I would understand in the exact moment that I move into an unhealthy feeling to get out. The good news is that I understand much faster than ever before and call my spirit back so-to-say. I guess we have to feel sorrow to know joy and there isn’t any going around the emotional-journey but rather, going via the drive-through so it’s fasttracked!!

I forgot a major KEY component on learning in relationship to another. It was only yesterday that I was telling people about this amazing wealth of knowledge I was learning and comprehending. When someone pushes your buttons-it’s because it is-my lesson, or, moment of opportunity--I get pissed or not impressed or annoyed or whatever UNTIL I realize that I can make another choice

BUT first I need to understand the whole concept:

They are pushing my buttons to.... Well, let's let Neale Donal Walsch from Conversations with God explain it from one of his awesome book:

You see, what we do as human beings is, we set the pins up, then we knock them down. What we do as human beings is, we create the exact, right, and perfect set of circumstances {speaking metaphysically now} to allow us to express a part of ourselves that announces and declares who we really are. If who I really am, for instance, is a healer, I will create, metaphysicically, the perfect set of circumstances to allow myself to express "she who heals." I will, therefore, bring into my experience, and even, at some level, create in my outer reality, illness.
The opposite of that which I am, that I might express and experience who I am.

So, my error was to bring “those who hurt me or pissed me off; ie: my sister” into my experience. If I feel we are pushing each other’s buttons, then it seemed a great opportunity to express it and see it and grow--together BUT I took “me” and made it “you and me.”

What a Master -- no, let’s say GODDESS -- could choose instead--and this is where I now choose--is to see this as my own experience and to change who I am within this experience without another ever knowing, hearing, or being drawn in. People will then know me by my LOVE, not by my, “Hey YOU, I feel you and I push each other’s buttons….”.

I even said there was a sure-fire caveat to this journey through becoming a grander version of my greatest self and that is -- when I am wanting to let’s say “meditate in Manhatten” -- then all of Manhatten will come right at me---bam, bam, bam -- to give me that exact opportunity to choose change:

The opposite of that which I am, that I might express and experience who I am

How crazy hilarious in a sad sort of way that I’m preaching away and seeing already things coming at me, attacking me {my old self} asking me, “Well, do you wish to continue being your old self or experience a new and grander version of YOU?”

See, “ugly” isn’t a coincidence. It’s an opportunity to look at “ugly” and declare it to be “BE-YOU-ti-FULL” !!

I don’t know what else will be coming down the pike, but I’m getting grounded and stabilized to keep on keeping on and reCREATE a brand new me--love, compassionate, and forgiving of myself and others… that’s my dream. With slight trepidation, I say, “Bring it on universe… bring it on {just a little bit gentle though- pleeeeaaassse”

Grief / Mirrors

I'm just rethinking about religion this morning and needing to get back into my "peaceful" place. In my book, Circles in the Sand, I talk on how the deserts of Arabia were my own reflection of myself as well as all the religions I have personally tried in order to be seen as okay by God and family--which never has happened btw!

I'm in a funk because my born again sister, who SO totally doesn't get me and continually says exactly the same--that I don't get her... and so, stalemate all because of bloody religious dogmas.

I've tried to pull myself away from the constant bombardment of what a sinner I am and thought I was well on my way into that spiritual zone of nirvana... but after receiving another punch-to-the-gut response by me to her--in what I thought was a love/peace and "please understand me" attempt AGAIN, I have to crawl out of grief and into "that place" where I have found love...because she came back with such a barrage of ANGER.

It's true--I have contempt for religion but let me say, religion brought me to "spirituality" and so I must thank my "enemy" for showing me the way to light. Spirituality, by-the-way, ain't no walk in the park at times. One is even more accountable because the journey is an inside job -- it's all about changing ME versus changing my outer experiences. If I say I choose to be accountable and own "shit," -- well, there's just nowhere to hide anymore.

My book was a purging and cleansing but I mistakenly hoped to be "heard" by my family. I truly thought I had grown away from that "need" and so... I now must choose "who I want to be within this moment" and let me say, it's hard not to want to be enraged, sorrowful, and scared and sad and giving up on the whole gameplan. That's why I'm again purging, possibly to myself, possibly to others should they see this blog, and whichever the case, it's for me to find me and get me back into that peaceful zone of love, understanding, compassion, forgiveness... that's spirituality for me.

Being raised Catholic, having born again sibs, and the constant bonbardment of abuse--I thought was far behind me {I never thought I had to cry a few more tears but clearly, I do}.

Funny, my original title for this BLOG was:
Mirror Images are Identical... {Catholic/Muslim} Hello! Another PINK ELEPHANT in the house!.
I was sharing about the POPE and the audacity to change "God's mind" about little unbaptized babies being saved suddenly. Another mirror image you see -- Religion to me is NUTZ and here we are, mirroring out to Muslims about them, rather than looking at ourselves!!

...which brought me to {because I've been in the Middle East so much and had such an out of body experience--sitting at the Wailing Wall--about Christianity, Islam, and Judaism all merging on this one tiny corner in the city of Jerusalem... enough "merging" to cause war after war. And millions of us believe this is God's will. I know it may be hard to stick with me on this purge BUT, I'm hoping that somewhere inside it will make some sense--to YOU but mostly, to ME.

BUT in truth, it's about grief and mirroring for my own life:
: Mirroring the desert as a metaphor for my past life
: Mirroring me not being heard to my sister feeling the same
: Mirroring anger

Mirror Mirror on the Wall--who's the fairest of us all?
Wouldn't it be so cool to say WE ARE ALL THE FAIREST AND MOST BEAUTIFUL… BE-YOU-ti-FULL!!!

I think I am finally back in "that place" where I can go meditate while sitting "in the middle of Manhatten" {metaphysically-speaking}

: Mirroring LOVE and FORGIVENESS

As John Lennon said... I M A G I N E

Neale Donald Walsch, bestselling author Conversation With God series and more

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Neale's coming to Vancouver to complete his worldwide tour of ONENESS and it would be awesome if you could come!! We -- by connecting through Bono and American Idol and Neale and on and on -- WE can change the world!!

We're just a hop, skip, and a rock's through from Washington, Seattle, LA... c'mon and see Neale in action. His video is on my blog if you want a peak at his gentle genious. He's friends with Bono and the connection feels so complete!!