Winter Challenge DAY 11 AUDIO from Chopra Center on Vimeo.
There are two realms from which we can live our life: from a reference point of the true self or from a reference point of external objects – things outside of the self. When we seek happiness or fulfillment from external objects – pursuing what David Simon refers to as the “three Ps”: our positions (titles and circumstances), possessions, and other people (our relationships) – we become dependent on that outside force delivering our needs. Yet these are all transient so they have to end at some point. And when they do, we are in a victim position where we are unable to meet our own needs because we have placed the power outside of us.
In object referral we come from the ego, NOT the self, and therefore we are always seeking the approval of others. We perform every action in anticipation of some response. Therefore this comes from a place of fear or constricted awareness. We try to control things outside of us: a team winning, an answer coming, a stock going up, etc. The need for approval, the need to control things, and the need for external power are all based on fear. When we experience the power of the self, there is no fear, no desire to control, no need for external approval, and no critical need for power.
Shifting into Self-Referral
In contrast to object referral, the experience of self-referral is when your internal reference point is your own spirit, and not the objects of your experience. Your true self is free of all those issues – it is open to feedback and immune to criticism, it has no fear because it has no desperation or constriction or lack. It is ever abundant. It is neither above nor below anyone else because it knows we are all Spirit wearing different disguises. Therefore when the world around us is swirling with chaos and confusion . . . we are the calm amidst the storm because we can come from within – a place of abundance, and pure joy, and stillness – to truly see all the external aspects of existence but not be dependent upon them working out a certain way.
This moment right now can be the most amazing moment in your life regardless of what is swirling around you. If there is grief or sadness in the air . . . you can choose gratitude. If there is confusion and fear and constriction . . . you can choose abundance. It’s always a choice. And as we live life from the inside out, our experiences continue to blossom and bloom.
Happiness and Forgiveness
You have the ability to be even happier if you understand forgiveness and begin practicing. A line from the Bible states, “When we forgive, we free ourselves from the ties that bind us to the one who hurt us.” Sometimes the person we need to forgive is no longer within our world. And sometimes the person we need to forgive is our self. But there are no shortcuts to forgiveness , so be open to giving the time and attention to the process of forgiveness that it deserves. Sometimes we’re just not ready to forgive. And so if that is you, right now instead give yourself permission to visit the process of forgiveness, and that first step can open the door to deeper self-healing.
In today’s meditation, Chopra Center co-founder David Simon leads us on a meditation on forgiveness and happiness. This meditation was recorded live at the Chopra Center’s Free to Love workshop and is designed as a gentle process for releasing the pain of the past. So find yourself a comfortable place where you won’t be disturbed and let yourself experience the healing power of release.
